Weekends and autism are a challenge.
Weekends mean less structure. And Saturdays usually end up with the twins fighting.
Even though they’re 18, they still fight. Developmentally they are only about 8 or 9 years old. And I have to remember that. Add autism to the mix and it’s just not the kind of dynamic that’s by any means “normal” for them. There is no normal in autism. There is no typical. Autism is unpredictable.
I’m trying out some apps to help us get more structure to our weekends and evenings. But being tech challenged (I’m not as bad as most but I’m no wizard) something has gone wrong with a wonderful app that was working.
Which teaches me another lesson: no matter how many bells and whistles I throw at this thing called autism, one thing will always, always be required:
If there’s one thing autism has taught me it’s how to prepare for the unexpected. The only way to do this is to remain flexible. Have more than one plan. And execute them one after another.
Sometimes it’s easy to fall into a pity pot and feel sorry for myself. I fight it but to be honest, sometimes it just happens.
Sometimes I’d like to know what it’s like to have a clean house for more than five minutes.
Sometimes I’d like to know what it’s like to ask them to do something and have them do it without constant coaxing.
Sometimes I’d like to be able to be spontaneous and just go to the movies with my husband without making elaborate arrangements for childcare.
But if I keep my focus on their humanity — their beautiful spirits, and realize that as hard as my days are with them, their days with me are just as hard if not harder.
I’m not the one living in the confusing world of autism.
And that’s when compassion overrides self pity and I can pull myself up and conquer another day.