What’s your definition of real romance?

31 years ago today I married my man!

At a little baptist church (that isn’t so little anymore) in Haysville, Kansas.

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(When we got married there was only the little building on the right and no passageway leading to a big building.)

(But that’s irrelevant.)

What’s relevant is that I’M STILL MARRIED TO THE SAME GUY!

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Besides being a parent, marriage is the hardest work I’ve ever done. And that’s not because of who I’m married to. It’s because of ME. Marriage has a way of stretching you. It really is a miracle this guy stayed with me all these years!

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We’ve been through so much together. So. Much.

How do we keep our marriage alive?

With real romance.

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Real romance is cleaning up the other one’s vomit during a stomach flu epidemic. (Sorry for that shocking visual, but it’s true.)

Real romance is doing dishes together–in the middle of the night–after the baby’s finally asleep.

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Real romance is eating eggs for supper on Monday night. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday–in order to pay the electric bill.

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Real romance is listening to the other one talk when you’d rather watch TV or read a book.

Real romance is wrapping presents and stuffing stockings together at 4:00 AM on Christmas Eve.

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Real romance is letting the other pick out the color of the new car.

Real romance is picking up their socks–and not complaining.

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Real romance overlooks those extra pounds every ten years packs on.

Real romance is giving each other the space they need to pursue their own interests.

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Real romance is loving each and every gift you get from the other one when it’s nothing at all you like.

Real romance is forgiving all hurts, wrongs, neglect. And letting it go.

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Real romance is giving up the right to be right.

Real romance fights fair and never damages another with words.

253046072782766124Real romance is praying together, worshiping together, studying God’s Word together.

Real romance doesn’t look very much like those romance novels some people are known to write. <grin>

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It’s not the candlelight dinners or gifts I cherish most. It’s the time my man sacrifices to be with me, do for me, listen to me. Even when I’m not lovely. Usually, when I’m the most difficult is when I need him to love me the most. And he needs the same from me.

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So that’s my definition of real romance.

What’s yours?

16 replies
  1. Christina
    Christina says:

    Love this post. I agree with all that you said and then some. Real romance is putting up the Christmas tree because he knows how much I don’t like to do it. Real romance is working fourteen hours to pay a bill. Real romance is working on my car when he’d rather be watching the football game. Real romance is taking his daughter to a movie and the clothes shopping when he doesn’t like to shop. Real romance is baiting our hooks and removing the fish when he’d rather be catching fish too. Real romance is sitting and holding my hand just because.

    Reply
  2. Kathy Rouser
    Kathy Rouser says:

    First of all, I want to wish you and your husband a very happy anniversary! Congratulations on your many years together! My husband and I will be celebrating 32 years of marriage on Dec. 5th–two days from now. 🙂

    I agree, all of the things you mentioned above are the definition of real love and from that comes true romance. Marriage is hard work. You have to decide to you want it to work when you go through the bad times together, by God’s grace and help. The good times add a special joy. But I have to say that going through so much together is really what has intertwined our hearts and lives and made it all worthwhile.

    Reply
    • Karla Akins
      Karla Akins says:

      You are so right about the hard times bringing you closer. As a pastor couple, we’ve had our fair share of hardships! Maybe that’s the secret. LOL. I think it’s so awesome you were married the same time of year we were! Thanks for reading, Kathy!

      Reply
  3. davalynn spencer
    davalynn spencer says:

    Real romance is a husband reading his wife’s romance novel and living out one of the scenes just for her because he knows it’s important to her. Real romance is laughing but without mockery, protecting but without smothering.

    Great post, Karla.

    Reply
  4. Patty Wysong
    Patty Wysong says:

    You said it so well, Karla. Sometimes it’s choosing to love long after the feelings have fled, and running on commitment until the feelings of love return.

    Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
  5. Candice Sue Patterson
    Candice Sue Patterson says:

    What a great post! I’ve been married for twelve years now, and I’ve learned a lot. Though I was in love when I accepted his proposal, I really had no idea what love was. The things we’ve been through together made us grow to love each other.

    Reply
  6. Chris Skates
    Chris Skates says:

    Just celebrated 26 years with my wife. Took a great anniversary trip together (first one in years and we still couldn’t afford it and we still went anyway). Then we came home and she got sick and last night we had one of those rantic episodes you describe (thanks playtex living gloves). So which week was a rantic week…both.

    Reply
  7. Beth Steury
    Beth Steury says:

    Great post, Karla! Loved the oh-so-true cartoon pics. We celebrated 31 years in September. Wow, that sounds like a long time! Wishing us both many more years.

    Reply

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